Another Book Review!

......no dinosaurs, though. 

PROBABLY THE BEST & LAST CHILDREN'S BOOK YOUR CHILD SHOULD EVER READ.

 

My Review:  While I feel that this story is incorrectly titled, Bruce Eric Kaplan's "Edmund & Rosemary Go to Hell" is actually quite an intelligently written tale of a happily married couple who come to the not-so-shocking realization that they are actually living in Hell -- as opposed to going there -- and their struggle to get out of it. 

READ IT. 

Dinosaur Review!!!!!

Just finished reading Chuck Klostermann's latest book, "Eating the Dinosaur," and I figured I needed to take a blog post to review it.

You see, I read (and buy) Chuck Klostermann books to learn his insightful views on pop culture.  And man, they are good.  If I had to describe his writing style, I would call it "pretentious, but with every right to be."

My friend, Nico, first introduced him to me back in 2005(?), letting me borrow what was probably his most famous novel at the time - Sex, Drugs & Cocoa puffs - and after reading just a few chapters, I had to say I was hooked.
 
But what often happens after reading a Klostermann book is a period of self-loathing because I realize that I do some of the things he states are "idiotic."

(In the case with this book, it's "putting exclamation marks at the end of unremarkable sentences in blogs to indicate my "ironic self-awareness" - read Chapter 10, "Ha ha, he said.  Ha ha") 

But what I've realized lately after reading Chuck Klosterman's essays is that he's: a) criticizing things that everybody seems to enjoy while b) simultaneously defending things that nobody else loves; and c) purposely arguing controversial opinions (like agreeing w/the Unabomber's opinion of technology) to get a rise out of his readers

And I'm getting the feeling that he has these opinions so he can:

a) sell books;
b) feel superior to everyone else.

But this is a guy who used to laugh into his TV because he thought TV sitcom laugh tracks were the actually the laughter of other people laughing from their homes.  (same chapter) 

So maybe I need to start taking his opinions with a grain of salt and not feel so bad when he thinks certain things are inane.

Incidentally,  I have a feeling that the overuse of exclamation marks to indicate self-awareness came from the popular Dinosaur Comics! - another piece of literature that I respect for it's intelligence and unique insights (in an ironic sort of way)!   

See!

Does hoping / prayer help?

So there's been a lot of tragedy going around in the world these days.....!

Obviously, there's all the crap going on in Japan - the earthquake, the tsunami, the 2nd earthquake, and now this media frenzy about their Nuclear reactor - but a lot of friends / people at my work have just had bad things happen to them for no reason:

- a co-worker's mother passed away
- another co-worker has lung cancer
- a third co-worker suffered a stroke
- another friend came down with breast cancer

And it just goes without saying that we all sign "Get Well Soon" cards and write sincere, heart-felt messages about how they'll "be in our thoughts & prayers".

But those of us who are a little more *cynical* tend to think that prayers and well-wishes are bullshit and don't do anything but make those who say them feel better and dare everyone to do something more.

(And by "us" I'm referring to those of us in the general E-society where Internet trolls roam)

Now I have to admit that there is a certain truth to this criticism of praying and well-wishing -- that it's a lazy version of "caring without really caring" -- I don't really think that people do it just to make themselves feel better about not doing anything.  A lot of times, there's not much else you *can* do but hope that things get better for someone.....especially if they live thousands of miles away or are suffering from a stroke. 

Plus - I actually think that it helps sometimes.  

And if you think about it, keeping someone in your prayers during their time of need is a lot like wishing them a happy birthday over the internet - THEY'RE BOTH FORMS OF WELL-WISHING!  

So to those of us who call everyone out for not doing more than praying / hoping / raising awareness, etc. and just so happened to wish me a happy birthday on facebook

WHY DIDN'T YOU DO MORE & GET ME A BIRTHDAY PRESENT, HUH??  

Just sayin'......!

**EDIT**

For my birthday, you can line dance for Charity like these guys did. 

Ugh, not .AGAIN.

Hey there, everyone who (still) reads my blog!

So it's been a while since I last blogged; not sure if you knew this, but I turned 28 a couple weeks ago (hope you celebrated with me).  And while I usually write a post about what it means to age another year / how I celebrated it this year, my new job / the fact that there wasn't anything extraordinary about it prevented me from doing so.

Instead, I figured I would write another post about the most important patriotic duty that I'm obligated to fulfill as an American citizen (again): 

- Jury Duty -
  (again) 

That's right - I have to call in for Jury duty again - starting Monday (tomorrow).  And while I viewed it as a kind of paid vacation last time, I really want to avoid serving on a jury this time if that's at all possible.  (I have a lot of projects due this month and a few items that really need my personal attention and I'm just worried about what will happen if I leave it for someone else to do while I'm out). 

So I'm hoping that you, dear readers, have some kind of "secret strategy" that'll help make me seem like a less-than-ideal juror to lawyers and judges.  I've already asked some of my friends about this and they've given me the following advice:  

- Appear very racist.  (Jurors are supposed to be impartial). 

- Say you distrust all forms of authority (cops, lawyers, etc.)

- Say you know someone who works in law enforcement.  (Somehow, this always gets this one person I know excused).  

- Pretend you don't understand English very well. 

This makes me a bad American, doesn't it? 

**EDIT 3/12/11**
We got excused after the 2nd day when the trial I got called for settled out of court.  (Yaaaayy!) 

Dear Stuarts,

ATTN: STUARTS OF THE WORLD!

A long time ago, back in College, I grew very frustrated one day at all the people who misspelled my first name. In an attempt to cool off, I logged on to Facebook and started stalking people.

I noticed that some of my friends who had unusual names belonged to various “common interest” facebook groups where everyone who was a member shared the same name. That sounded appealing to me so I tried searching for one with my name….only Facebook didn’t have any listed.

So I created one of my own.

A few days later I forgot all about it.

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Fast forward to 2011 – and the group now has over thirty members in it. Pretty good for a Facebook Group with almost no advertisement! But now I’m figuring it’s time to start advertising!  

SO - if *your* first name is Stuart and you happen to read this blog – please join my Facebook Group!

You won’t regret it….and and will probably forget all about it a few days later.

It's not me, it's you

Hey TV, do you have a minute?  We need to talk. 

Maybe you should sit down for this…..! 

I know there’s no easy way to say this and rather than tip toe around the issue like we’ve been doing the past few years, I’m just going to come out and say it:  I’m breaking up with you. 

And just so we’re clear it’s not me; it’s you. 

I know it seems like I’m springing this on you, but can you honestly say you didn’t see this coming?  The quality of your prime-time programming just doesn’t satisfy me anymore.  My once-favorite shows like The Office & How I met your Mother have just dropped to an all-time low.  And why the hell is Two & a Half Men still on the air?  3 times a night every night, no less?  That show’s terrible!  And where are all these Reality-TV shows coming from??  You know how much I hate that crap! 

Look, I don’t mean to yell but I’ve been feeling this way for a while now and I’ve come to the conclusion that we would both be better off if we just didn’t see each other anymore. 

Don’t get me wrong; I still think you’re beautiful.  Heck, you’re even more beautiful than the day I met you.  How could you not be now that you switched over to satellite and hi-def resolution?  But ever since you did that, things have gotten really expensive / complicated.  I can’t even keep track of all these cable programming packages I need just to see you. 

Look, I know there are reasons to stay; I hear great things about Community, 30 Rock, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Weeds, South Park and Modern Family…..but let’s face it: I’m never gonna be around to watch those. 

And yeah, since you asked, there *is* someone else.  Her name’s Netflix, and she’ just cheaper and easier to be with than you.  Hey – she is *NOT* a slut.  How dare you call her that?  You don’t even know her! 

Stop, just stop; I’m not going to argue with you about this.  It’s too late to change my mind.  I’m going.  I’m leaving now to give you some time to process this information with your regularly scheduled programming.  I already canceled my subscription to TV guide and you can keep have all the remotes.  I’ll be back to pick up my DVD player later—

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Wait – did you say Parks & Recreations: Season 3 just started? 

I’M BACK, BABY!

Internet-dependent thinking?

Do you ever wonder if we rely too much on the internet to "look up" stuff? 

It's pretty easy, if you think about it - someone asks you a question; just google it. 
....or look it up on Wikipedia;

or god-willing, we can even Ask Jeeves. 

And while we all know by now that we should double-check all the info we get from online resources (so sayeth the English major in me), how often do we remember what we look up? 

I ask because in the past week, my co-workers and I have looked up random trivia online, only to forget it later that day. 

- once when my co-worker had to look up who the Lindbergh baby was.  (she forgot it that afternoon)
- and another time today where I looked up if Jehovah's witnesses celebrate birthdays (they don't)

I didn't consider it a big deal at the time, but I was driving home from work today when I tried *again* to remember if Jehovah's witnesses celebrate birthdays (turns out they don't!), I started to wonder if we take all this available-at-your-fingertips information for granted and don't really bother to learn it. 

Kind of makes me appreciate all the studying I had to do in school.  (Or maybe I just have early onset Alzheimers).