Everyone's a critic

Now that I’ve fully transitioned to my “new" (old) department, I thought I would try this old thing out again….seeing as I now have a little more free time to update this……at least for now!

While I was away, a new guy started working here (as my replacement) and since I’ve been back, we’ve been chatting & getting to know one another; he seems like a pretty cool dude with similar tastes & preferences for things like Lord of the Rings and Batman….! 

…or he did until I mentioned The Dark Knight to him. 

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Even though he’s a big fan of the Batman comics (and loved Batman Begins), he thought that The Dark Knight was terrible – not so much as a regular action movie, just as a Batman movie.   

Needless to say, I thought he was nuts.  But then he handed me a 4-page essay, outlining his reasons for disliking the movie (and citing specific examples throughout the movie).  Having a written essay handy for just such an occasion worried me for a bit, but I’ve also been known to write a few choice blog posts about movies I thought were less than great too, now haven’t I? 

So I read it – and while I readily dismiss the majority of his arguments (ex. Movie inconsistencies, plot holes, etc.) as movie goofs -- he had many issues with Batman’s new costume, his “Bat-cyle” and the scene where Harvey Dent & Batman set a trap to catch the Joker – I have to admit that his character issues are pretty strong. 

For example - the backstory for Harvey Dent / Two-Face differs from comic to movie adaptation.  Harvey is a lot more bi-polar in the comics, being secretly abusive to his wife and family while generating a clean-cut image for Gotham’s media.  In the movie, he’s “Gotham’s White Knight” through and through.  And while this may have served the movie’s theme better, my co-worker’s problem with this is that it’s not true to the comic.   So, praising this as “the best Batman movie ever made” is a false claim. 

The same issue comes up with Heath Ledger’s depiction of the Joker.  

While Heath Ledger's Joker was indeed a great villain for the movie, my co-worker felt that he just wasn’t the same Joker that he grew up with in the DC comics.  Not only is the physique wrong (the Joker is always depicted as being a lot thinner and more feminine than Ledger’s character was), but he also got the very essence of the Joker wrong.  According to my co-worker, the Joker isn’t a psychopath who orchestrates grand schemes in order to prove a point to people like Batman, he’s just a random doer of evil, changing plans on a whim for no reason other than “he feels like it”.   (This one I’m a little iffy on, but I’ll take his word for it for now)

But while he may be right that this movie may not have been as ‘true to the comics’ as Batman Begins was, it was a pretty damn good movie.  And maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up with Batman like he did (I went with Marvel over DC), but I personally think these discrepancies from the comics made the characters *better*. 

And now that I’ve said that, I almost feel dirty after my last rant about how untrue to comics X-men: First Class was.  

X-Men: First **CRAP**

So by now you’ve probably all seen X-Men: First Class  (and loved it) or decided that it’s not really worth seeing. I’m counting on this being “a given” so I can rant about this movie without any guilt about spoiling for anybody, but in case there are some of you who are waiting for it to come out on DVD…….!

*
*
*

-- HERE BE SPOILERS---

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
I just don’t get how this movie gets an 87% on Rotten Tomatoes. If the major demographic of this movie franchise is “comic book nerds” like me, then how the hell did everyone else love it?
First of all, there are many, MANY, *MANY* discrepancies between the comics and this movie….as well as between the past 4 other movies! They include, but are not limited to, the following:

• Moira McTaggart is an American CIA agent? (She’s supposed to be Irish, and was played by Olivia Williams in X3, and at least she sounds like she’s from the same continent!)
• Alex Summers – aka “Havoc” - is (approximately) the same age as Professor X? (Alex is supposed to be Cyclop’s *younger* brother. If this movie takes place before the X-men were formed / born, why is Havoc here???)
• Mystique & Professor X grew up together as ‘brother & sister’? - (They’re mortal enemies in the comics, and are pretty much complete strangers in the first 3 X-men movies. What, they just forgot about each other after being “brother/sister” for all those years?)

Secondly – the movie made some poor choices regarding what mutants / characters to portray in this movie. The biggest offender would be Angel Salvadore - the stripper with fairy wings who can spit fire. Were there not any other choices available? Since we’re throwing continuity out the window, did no one think of cannonball? Polaris? Sunfire? Marrow? (Not Pixie, though – she’s practically the same character)

Also, did it not occur to anyone else that the devil guy (Azazel) is just a red (& evil) carbon-copy of Nightcrawler?

And I just do not agree that Kevin Bacon was the best choice to play Sebastian Shaw….or that Sebastian was the original creator /owner of Magneto’s helmet. It didn’t look that great on Ian Mckellen and it looks plain idiotic on Kevin Bacon.

 

vs.

who wore it better?

 And finally – the whole Mystique & Professor X vs Magneto fiasco; that whole plot arc / storyline just seemed to fizzle out halfway through the movie, only to suddenly snap into place so Mystique lines up with Magneto for the first X-men movie. Did anyone else notice that she comes to this decision for almost no reason while her supposed brother lies dying right next to her???? 



“Hey Mystique, I know you secretly want to join Magneto’s team, but you’re just too scared to tell me, but you can go with him. Don’t worry, I’m okay with it. I’ll just lie here now that I'm paralyzed. I’ll be fine. It’s not like we formed this really strong bond growing up together or anything.”

 ........I know, I know; I sound like a huge nerd, don't I? 

 

BUT I DON'T CARE.  THERE ARE DISCREPANCIES TO MY BELOVED GRAPHIC NOVEL SERIES & I WANT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT. 

Movie Review - Machete

About a week ago, I saw Machete in theatres. And I have to say that this movie deserved every bit of hype it got:

The Plot: Betrayed and left for dead in a burning building, Ex-Mexico federale, Machete, is now nothing more than an illegal day laborer on the streets of Texas. Until one day, a mysterious stranger offers him a million dollars to take out the Mayor of Texas himself (played by Robert DeNiro) who promises to crack down on illegal immigration and tighten up border security.

Machete takes the job, but is betrayed (again!) by the very man who hired him. Now on the run from the Law, Machete vows revenge against the man who hired him and, in the process, uncovers a nationwide conspiracy to control the Border patrol between Texas and Mexico.

My Review: After watching the Trailer, I pretty much assumed that this would be “Black Dynamite” but with Hispanics. And considering that I loved Black Dynamite, I figured I would love this one just as much.

AND I WAS RIGHT!

 

Within the first five minutes of the movie, I saw about twelve people die and a completely naked woman waiting for Machete to rescue her. And considering the movie is about two hours long, rest assured that the rest of it was filled with similar mayhem and sex.

My favorite part had to be where Machete ripped someone’s stomach open and used their small intestines to repel off a wall. 

But the movie isn’t JUST hilarious, over-the-top blood and gore; it’s also (slightly) political in it’s timely message of the country’s problem with illegal immigration / the plight of Mexican immigrants trying to make it in the U.S. That message is a constant theme throughout the movie. (slight though it may be) In fact, I figured that was the only way they could get Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez to do the movie. (and get her to wear that eye-patch)

Now, as great as I found this movie to be, it *did* start to spin out of control into non-sensical shock humor that I didn’t care for. This movie featured a bunch of “all-star” actors that people love to roll their eyes at. And while Don Johnson and Steven Segal weren’t too bad in their respective roles of “corrupt town sherriff” and “Mexican drug lord,” I had no idea why the hell Lindsay Lohan was in this movie - she plays the drugged-out daughter of the man who hires Machete, but somehow ends up as a gun-toting nun by the end of the movie. (no real explanation).

I got the feeling that, since the movie started as a spoof trailer for “Grindhouse,” they had to include her…..but couldn’t figure out how to fit her in the movie.

In any case – Machete is worth seeing. I suggest you do so while you still can. A great movie like this is only going to be around for so long.

The Bechdel Test

Have you all heard of the Bechdel Test?

It’s a simple 3 question test that points out the lack of female characters in movies and a lack of female character development for them other than how they relate to men. I read about it here on John Scalzi’s blog – Whatever.

Here are the questions for the test:

1. Are there at least two women in this movie?
2. Do they ever talk to each other?
3. About something besides a man?

If the answer to all three of these questions is “yes,” then the movie passes the Bechdel Test. A list of movies that pass / fail the Bechdel test can be found here.

I looked through my shelf of DVDs and discovered that a lot of the films I like don’t pass the test.

Not to say that a movie which fails the Bechdel Test is bad. A lot of movies that pass the Bechdel test are awful. (ex."Alice in Wonderland") But still, it’s a little odd that, in this day and age, there aren’t better roles for actresses these days.

So listen up Hollywood – hows about we change some of our male characters into female ones, huh?

How many movies do YOU own that pass the Bechdel Test?

Any good movies out there?

I’ve been checking the L.A Weekly, IMDB, and I’ve even been stopping by the local movie theatres every couple weeks to check what’s out there…..

But is it me or do all of the movies this year (for the lack of a better word) suck balls???

With the exception of Shutter Island and The Joneses,every movie I’ve heard that came out this year sounded awful. They’re all either lame book-turned-movies, re-makes of older movies, or movie versions of a 80s franchise!

Although, after reading this article from i09, I’m thinking of giving “Sex & the City 2” a chance….!

The award for Biggest Disappointment is a tie between Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) and Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland (because honestly, what was the reason behind that stupid dance?)

This got me really looking forward to the L.A. Film Festival this year, but even the selection there doesn’t look too promising. (but maybe that’s just me)

From what I was able to scan from the line-up – these are some of the highlights of the Festival:













CANE TOADS: THE CONQUEST
Summer Showcase
(Australia, US, 2010, 85 mins, 3D DCP)
Directed By: Mark Lewis
Executive Producers: Jeff Skoll, Diane Weyermann, Clark Bunting
Producer: Mark Lewis
Cinematographers: Toby Oliver, Kathryn Milliss, Paul Nichola
Editor: Robert Demaio

In a legendary environmental blunder, Australians imported the cane toad in the 1930s to save their sugar crop from beetles. The experiment was a total flop. But seven decades later, the ugly critter had multiplied from a hundred to 1.5 billion, over-running most of northern Australia in its unstoppable migration, wreaking havoc wherever it hopped. Mischievous maverick Mark Lewis first told this story in his classic 1988 movie. Now he updates the horror in his inimitable tongue-in-cheek style, combining interviews, documentary footage, hilarious recreations, and eye-popping 3D effects.













GOLDEN SLUMBER
Gôruden suranbâ
International Showcase
(Japan, 2009, 139 mins, 35mm)
In Japanese with English subtitles
North American Premiere
Directed By: Yoshihiro Nakamura
Producers: Yosushi Uta Gawa, Hitoshi Endo, Hisashi Usui
Screenwriters: Yoshihiro Nakamura, Tamio Hayashi, Kenichi Suzuki
Cinematographer: Takashi Komatsu
Editor: Hirohide Abe
Cast: Masato Sakai, Yuko Takeuchi, Hidetaka Yoshioka, Gekidan Hitori, Teruyuki Kagawa

Trailer
In Yoshihiro Nakamura’s serio-comic thriller, when easy-going Aoyagi meets an old friend for a fishing trip he ends up drugged, framed for the Prime Minister's assassination, and on the run from corrupt cops. But he'll get by with a little help from his friends, who include a famous pop diva, a rockabilly deliveryman, a crippled old gangster, and the world's most cheerful serial killer. For all of us who've ever wondered what a cross between Pee Wee's Big Adventure and The Fugitive might look like, search no further than this hugely satisfying pop concoction, already a major hit in its native Japan.













DOWN TERRACE
International Showcase
(United Kingdom, 2009, 89 mins, HDCAM 23.98)
Directed By: Ben Wheatley
Producer: Andy Starke
Screenwriters: Ben Wheatley, Robin Hill
Cinematographer: Laurie Rose
Editor: Robin Hill
Cast: Robert Hill, Robin Hill, Julia Deakin, Kerry Peacock, Tony Way, David Schaal, Michael Smiley, Gareth Tunley

Trailer
Crime stays all in the family in Ben Wheatley's tart, deadpan English black comedy about a clan of bickering, low-rent crooks. Having recently been sprung from jail, father Bill and son Karl—played by father and son team of Robert and Robin Hall—are determined to sniff out the snitch who ratted them out. Was it one of the family? Down Terrace is a slow-burning fuse: what seems at first like an odd slice of kitchen sink realism morphs into absurdist realms of mayhem and murder with the laughs and gasps coming when you least expect them.

There were a few more that looked pretty great, but those were all short films and don’t really seem worth the trouble of paying for.

As such – this leads me to the last resort of the movie-goer: RENTING.

Fortunately, my new roommate showed me Oldboy – 2nd movie of Chan-wook Park’s “Revenge Trilogy;” and hand-picked as the Grand Jury prize Winner at Cannes by Quentin Tarantino!

The plot goes something like this:

Based on a Manga by the same name, tan every-day “Salary man” is suddenly released after being kidnapped and imprisoned for fifteen years without knowing why or who was responsible. He’s got nothing but revenge on his mind, but so does his mysterious captor…..!

I can’t really tell you anymore without spoiling it, but if you know anything about Korean movies, then you know that they tend to stray towards darker side of life’s themes and this one does not disappoint.

Can’t wait to watch Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance & Lady Vengeance (the other two movies in the Revenge Trilogy)