Movie Review - Machete

About a week ago, I saw Machete in theatres. And I have to say that this movie deserved every bit of hype it got:

The Plot: Betrayed and left for dead in a burning building, Ex-Mexico federale, Machete, is now nothing more than an illegal day laborer on the streets of Texas. Until one day, a mysterious stranger offers him a million dollars to take out the Mayor of Texas himself (played by Robert DeNiro) who promises to crack down on illegal immigration and tighten up border security.

Machete takes the job, but is betrayed (again!) by the very man who hired him. Now on the run from the Law, Machete vows revenge against the man who hired him and, in the process, uncovers a nationwide conspiracy to control the Border patrol between Texas and Mexico.

My Review: After watching the Trailer, I pretty much assumed that this would be “Black Dynamite” but with Hispanics. And considering that I loved Black Dynamite, I figured I would love this one just as much.

AND I WAS RIGHT!

 

Within the first five minutes of the movie, I saw about twelve people die and a completely naked woman waiting for Machete to rescue her. And considering the movie is about two hours long, rest assured that the rest of it was filled with similar mayhem and sex.

My favorite part had to be where Machete ripped someone’s stomach open and used their small intestines to repel off a wall. 

But the movie isn’t JUST hilarious, over-the-top blood and gore; it’s also (slightly) political in it’s timely message of the country’s problem with illegal immigration / the plight of Mexican immigrants trying to make it in the U.S. That message is a constant theme throughout the movie. (slight though it may be) In fact, I figured that was the only way they could get Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez to do the movie. (and get her to wear that eye-patch)

Now, as great as I found this movie to be, it *did* start to spin out of control into non-sensical shock humor that I didn’t care for. This movie featured a bunch of “all-star” actors that people love to roll their eyes at. And while Don Johnson and Steven Segal weren’t too bad in their respective roles of “corrupt town sherriff” and “Mexican drug lord,” I had no idea why the hell Lindsay Lohan was in this movie - she plays the drugged-out daughter of the man who hires Machete, but somehow ends up as a gun-toting nun by the end of the movie. (no real explanation).

I got the feeling that, since the movie started as a spoof trailer for “Grindhouse,” they had to include her…..but couldn’t figure out how to fit her in the movie.

In any case – Machete is worth seeing. I suggest you do so while you still can. A great movie like this is only going to be around for so long.