I found these articles online while browsing wikipedia the other day.
Nebraskan Senator orders God to stop all the Natural Disasters
- Initially dismissed since plaintiff could not notify God
- Appealed
- Granted a court date,
- Dismissed as a frivolous lawsuit
- Dismissed since God did not fall under jurisdiction of the court.
Man sues Satan (& staff) for causing his Downfall
- Dismissed since plaintiff could not afford his legal fees (downfall, remember?)
- Court could not find a way to notify Satan of lawsuit.
1 comment:
Hey, it's chottoboy21 from Xanga... I'm just stopping by to say hello. And to comment on your post from the other day.
Everyone always says got has a sense of humor, but maybe he doesn’t… Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to sue the Almighty- for a little payback…
"Dear God, please let the light stay green, if it turns red, I'll be late to work." As soon as you get the last syllable of that last word out of your mouth, the light changes to yellow. You know by the time you get out there, the light is going to be red. You are too far away from the intersection to try to risk it. There could be an accident and you know, you'd get a ticket.
You might consider praying that there are no police officers observing, but then you'll probably (hopefully at least) remember that the last prayer didn't have the desired effect. This time you don’t say a prayer.
Instead of hitting the breaks and hoping that your boss won't notice you're a minute and a half late, you mash the gas pedal to the floor with enough force to get your foot stuck in a watermelon . You speed through the light. And as you make it out the other side, you sigh heavily, cause at this time in the morning, in this little town, there are no other cars around. You laugh because you made it. Unharmed even. And now you can’t control that big grin on your face.
In those five to ten seconds that passed, that same five to ten seconds that you concluded that you succeeded and your thoughts started moving toward the idea that maybe today is going to get better. As you reach for the volume to the radio in your car, your intentions are to turn it up and sing along in celebration… Out of the corner of your right eyeball, you see something. Your heart sinks. Now you stare into the rear view mirror desperately hoping that the “fight or flight” feeling that you’re feeling may have been caused by something other than what you think you saw come out of nowhere.
Please God, don’t let that be police lights.
Your heart sinks again.
Only this time the sinking feeling, sinks even farther than before. You look to the right and back over your shoulder for a second confirmation-
"Aww Crap!"
You're being pulled over by a motorcycle cop.
"A motorcycle cop?" Really? You sigh a few times as you pull over to the side of the road. You have know idea what you’re going to do. Or what to say. Maybe he’ll let ya off the hook… Maybe you have unpaid parking tickets and they are going to through you in jail… Right now, a minute and half late doesn’t seem as bad. Maybe you’ll run for it even though motorcycles are faster, and more maneuverable than your little Toyota Camery.
As you usually you, you turn to the Almighty for a helping hand... You think to pray for a good excuse so that you get off the hook .- The officer walks up to the car, and hands you the ticket that he shouldn't have had time to write, but the ticket is completely filled out. There is no wiggle room for you. You have the ticket in your hand, there is no warning citation this time.
... Suddenly everything makes sense, God must be getting some amusement out of your suffering... And damnit, if the Omnipresent entity known as God was a man... You’d sue! You think. You’d sue God, lemme fill out a grievance at the least…
As the cop starts to walk away, but he’s talking into his radio. You hear him say, "I was praying to God that, I would catch someone running this stop light.”
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